Who is this cheeky match reporter stand-in?! Stand aside Beavanshire (but thanks for stepping in), “Mr. Commitment” Buckley is back from his NFL Sunday off…
Yesterday afternoon saw Abingdon 1 pit their wit, dexterity and skill against the second batch of young whipper-snappers in Division 1! Yes Southampton Uni 1 are well skillful this year – with speed that would cause Usain Bolt a few panicky moments, and shooting accuracy that would rival a skilled sniper-man, this would be by far Abingdon 1’s toughest assignment so far this season.
So team news for this tasty clash? Beavanshire, Monsieur, el Gorka and (not so) little old me representing the boys. Gammy-kneed Susie is still absent, and so Girly, Baerbel and Bhairavi were joined by Streamlined-Scotty! Yes Flash was in town, and news on the street is that she recently won a raffle prize of a few sessions with a personal trainer. And it was immediately evident as she bounded into the St. Greg’s sports hall at 2:59pm and 55 seconds precisely, eyes wide open like a cocker spaniel who had just been presented with a meaty bone, tail wagging and eager to pit her new fitness against dem pesky students!
START! Referee blew his whistle and we were off. And man those students were flying out of the blocks, goal goal goal goal… we were moving things around nicely, but alas some nice shots just wouldn’t quite drop, and a few other radars were not calibrated quite right. Streamlined-Spaniel-Scotty opened the Abingdon scoring, a wrong-footing by her opponent and she was on it “like a flash” (ka-boom-tsh!) and a cheeky step inside from feed was finished gloriously. Alas Abingdon goals were proving rarer events than a vegetarian making a purchase in a butcher’s shop. Eventually one goal to The Boy, you can always rely on him. Two from Girly, one a penalty hard won by her team mates, you can always rely on her too. Alas the rest of us were proper struggling. The scoreline 14-4 to Southampton Uni at one stage. But we soldiered on cos we is well tough…
I’d had enough of this trying to score nonsense, it just wasn’t working and so decided to abandon that plan and go on a personal crusade to win some set pieces for Alex Girl. A pointy-elbowed basketball-esque opponent was just the tonic to help me achieve this feat, jolly nice the bump was that caused me to fall over near the half way line, alas the free pass didn’t fall for Girlie. Shortly afterwards, a twizzle and shoot from feed was met by the clatter of young Pointy’s horizontally placed limb, penalty said ref, one more goal said Girlie! Damien was getting in on the “forceeing erreurs” action too, and a final cheeky feed for Girlie at just the right moment allowed her to skin her excellent opponent and round off her afternoon with 5 goals to her name.
Meanwhile at the other end, Gorka had the task of marking a chap with the speed of a gazelle on steroids, possibly one of the nippiest gentlemen in the league, but manfully he stuck to his task, and his reward was one shiny goal to his name. Another Beavan goal gave him two for the afternoon, but final goal scoring mention for the other end goes to the excited tail wagging Scotty-Spaniel! Still full of beans after all this personal training, she was still galloping round the court popping up frequently in killer positions, two lovely finishes giving her a tally of 3 goals for the afternoon. The only other action to report was an unfortunate bump on the head to Baerbel after an accidental clash with her opponent leaving her a bit dazed on the sports hall floor. Fortunately Bingers was in town and replaced her to have a quick 10 minute scamper at the end.
So not the best shooting afternoon for Abingdon 1 unfortunately, 11 goals the final total against a fine haul of 25 from Southampton Uni 1. Well played to them and well tried everyone against tough opposition!